Another
set of pictures reveals the secret powers our cats wield in our household. As before, I have used special filters to
bring out features invisible to the naked eye.
Taken together this evidence explains why my wife, Bride of the
Bloviator, has so pampered our pets throughout the years. Below is the latest evidence, along with my
descriptions of what I believe to be going on.
“I
am Mina of the Cybercat Collective. I claim this bed and
this pillow as my own.”
“I
am Ellis of the Cybercat Collective. This cube seems to
have suffered a collapse in one of its corners.
You will procure a replacement.”
“Mina
of the Cybercat Collective, I am about to jump up onto the top perch and bite you. Do not be alarmed. This harmless interchange is intended to
demonstrate to the humans that we are normal cats, and will help us to continue
the deception.”
“Someone recently cleaned this chair, removing all of the cat hair. We will replace it.”
“This
wooden table was free of scratches as recently as this morning. That is now changing. I have taken this on as a special project.”
“Even though you believe you now see us lying atop your special ‘girl bed’ which you wish to keep clean and free of cat hair, dirty paw prints, and hacked up furballs, your mind is deceiving you. We are not here. You will not remember this encounter. Now go away and do not come back until it is feeding time.”
“This
television program is boring. You will change
channels and bring on something more interesting, such as a National Geographic
special on birds or insects.”
“I
am radiating cuteness. Fortunately, I
see before me an image recording device.
You may use it to capture the moment.”
“The
male human on whose legs I am reclining seems impervious to assimilation. I will scan the Internet for information on
how to subdue him.”
“I
will partake of your meatball. Now.”
“Work,
human. You must collect your
paycheck. Stocks of Fancy Feast and
Purina One are running low.”
“I
see this Christmas present is for us. It
had better contain something fun—preferably battery-operated, moving an object
with feathers or a tail in swift, random jerking motions.”
“This
toy is fine. You have done well. We will allow you to serve us for another
year.”
###
Find previous Cybercat reports here. And
as always don't forget to check
out my novels. There is a cat character in A Journal of
the Crazy Year!
If you you'd like to share your pet photos with me, I'd be happy to scan them for evidence of Cybercat influence. Here is my contact information.
If you you'd like to share your pet photos with me, I'd be happy to scan them for evidence of Cybercat influence. Here is my contact information.
©2014 by Forrest Carr. All rights reserved.
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