Tuesday, December 16, 2014

Attack of the Cybercats IV

New pictures contain startling revelations about my cats’ mind-bending capabilities.

Another set of pictures reveals the secret powers our cats wield in our household.  As before, I have used special filters to bring out features invisible to the naked eye.  Taken together this evidence explains why my wife, Bride of the Bloviator, has so pampered our pets throughout the years.   Below is the latest evidence, along with my descriptions of what I believe to be going on.


“I am Mina of the Cybercat Collective.  I claim this bed and this pillow as my own.”



“I am Ellis of the Cybercat Collective.  This cube seems to have suffered a collapse in one of its corners.  You will procure a replacement.”

“Mina of the Cybercat Collective, I am about to jump up onto the top perch and bite you.  Do not be alarmed.  This harmless interchange is intended to demonstrate to the humans that we are normal cats, and will help us to continue the deception.”

“Someone recently cleaned this chair, removing all of the cat hair.  We will replace it.”

“This wooden table was free of scratches as recently as this morning.  That is now changing.  I have taken this on as a special project.”

“Even though you believe you now see us lying atop your special ‘girl bed’ which you wish to keep clean and free of cat hair, dirty paw prints, and hacked up furballs, your mind is deceiving you.  We are not here.  You will not remember this encounter.  Now go away and do not come back until it is feeding time.”

“This television program is boring.  You will change channels and bring on something more interesting, such as a National Geographic special on birds or insects.”


“I am radiating cuteness.  Fortunately, I see before me an image recording device.  You may use it to capture the moment.”


“The male human on whose legs I am reclining seems impervious to assimilation.  I will scan the Internet for information on how to subdue him.”

“I will partake of your meatball.  Now.”

“Work, human.   You must collect your paycheck.  Stocks of Fancy Feast and Purina One are running low.”

“I see this Christmas present is for us.  It had better contain something fun—preferably battery-operated, moving an object with feathers or a tail in swift, random jerking motions.”

“This toy is fine.  You have done well.  We will allow you to serve us for another year.”


Find previous Cybercat reports here.  And as always don't forget to check out my novels.  There is a cat character in A Journal of the Crazy Year!

If you you'd like to share your pet photos with me, I'd be happy to scan them for evidence of Cybercat influence.  Here is my contact information.

©2014 by Forrest Carr.  All rights reserved.


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