Friday, October 3, 2014

Attack of the Cybercats III

The problem is worse than I thought.

I have now delved back more than 30 years into my photo archive.  Applying the special filters I discovered a few weeks ago to bring out details not visible to the naked eye, I’ve discovered more instances of cats appearing to have strange and mystical mind-bending powers over humans.  In fact, I’m starting to wonder whether all cats have this ability.  The alternative is to believe that my family in particular has somehow been targeted.  

Below is the latest photographic evidence.


“I am Cruford of the Cybercat Collective.  I claim this canine as mine.  It is smelly, flea bitten, and frequently passes gas.  But it is warm.  I will assimilate it and bend it to my will.”

“Don’t look now—or perhaps you should.  Teecee of the Cybercat Collective just hawked up a big one on the far side of the bed.”


“I am Travis of the Cybercat Collective.  I find the newspaper you are trying to read not to be particularly tasty or nutritious.  But I like the crinkly sound it makes when I tear into it.  I will consume more.  You will hold the paper still.”

“This human makes a satisfactory transportation unit.  I think I will keep it for now."

“I rubbed my butt on your water glasses.  Now when you drink from them, you will think of me.”


“Your foot could stand a good washing.  But it keeps the top of my head warm.  You will hold still for that purpose until such time as I release you."


“I am Dora of the Cybercat Collective.  You will find me irresistibly cute.  My every whim will be your command.  I will require you to ascertain my needs telepathically.  In return for this service, I will allow you to look at me and compliment me.”

“I have assimilated this human.  It was not difficult.”

“I will now bite a plug out of your hand.  You will bring it closer, and hold it still.  Be advised, this will hurt.”    


“This garment-covered foot provides the opportunity to test human technology and also reflexes.  I will find out whether the sock is thick enough to protect the human from my claws.  I will also ascertain the sensitivity of human skin and learn how far I must insert the tips of my claws to get a reaction.  To assist me in my aim, I will extend my tongue."

“The climb was difficult.  However, the trail of claw holes I blazed in the garments will make my next ascent easier.  You will now assist me down.”


“I do not know why I climbed into this bag.  I find it strangely comforting, however, and do not wish to leave.   I require you to remain and admire me.”

“It’s been a long day.  I will allow the humans a brief respite from their labors.  We begin again tomorrow.”


If you you'd like to share your pet photos with me, I'd be happy to scan them for evicence of Cybercat influence.  Here is my contact information.

And as always don't forget to check out my novels.  There is a cat character in A Journal of the Crazy Year!

©2014 by Forrest Carr.  All rights reserved.


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