Tuesday, April 21, 2015
Attack of the Cybercats V
The research continues
I’ve processed more pet photos from my personal archive. Using special filters, I have brought out more details of seemingly innocent cat pictures, including eerie rays of light not previously visible to the naked eye. And I’ve learned more about how the Cybercats operate. Part feline, part machine, they seem to be able to exert mind control over certain susceptible humans—primarily those who have stated a high regard for cats. Below is the latest batch of photos that I’ve processed, adding additional details to the research I have compiled so far. This latest collection shows two Cybercats conspiring together.
“I am Dora of the Cybercat Collective. The humans have moved yet again. I have agreed, this one time, to assist with the unpacking.”
“Human, your efforts to resist my powers are commendable. But you will be assimilated. Resistance is futile. And by the way, I’m hungry. You will open a can of Fancy Feast this minute.”
“There are days when I’m not sure who has assimilated whom. The humans are sometimes overly demonstrative with their affections. For the moment, I will endure. But I will tone down the mind beam.”
“The human female has no idea I’m hiding in this box. When she approaches, I will pounce. The sounds she makes on such occasions are quite amusing.”
“This box has nothing in it containing feathers, string, or catnip. I am gravely disappointed. You may make it up to me by praising me, after which you may administer one pat on the head. Two pats, and I will bite the crap out of you.”
“I did warn you. Hold still, and this will be over quickly.”
“There was a lizard in this flower bed. I have solved the problem. Later I will hack up the remains for you to dispose of. You will do so gladly, pleased that you have found yet another way to serve me.”
“Ah, ha. A new arrival. I will assimilate it immediately. Then I will teach it how to assist me in subjugating the humans. Together, we will rule the household.”
“I am Willis of the Cybercat Cat Collective. I am on the lookout for a human to subjugate. I am told that with the female, this will not be difficult.”
“This is my young apprentice, Willis. He has much to learn. Yet in time you will bend to his will as you do mine.”
“Willis has committed a foul atrocity in the sandbox. You will remove it immediately. Then you will procure me a sandbox of my own.”
“My young apprentice, the key to this activity is to pull the bird down low, and then suddenly release it. When it springs into the air, its bell will jingle. That is your signal to jump high and catch it. This may seem difficult at first. But you will prevail if you use the Force, Willis, and trust your feelings.”
“I have reached out with the Force! I can feel it! Today, this bat-a-bird. Tomorrow, the Galaxy!”
“The humans have placed two cans of Fancy Feast on the kitchen counter. Feeding time is one half hour away. We will now begin the daily reminders. I will go first. When I pause, you chime in. When you pause, I will resume, and so on as we continue to alternate. We will carry out the reminders until feeding time has arrived.”
“It has been a strenuous first day for both of us. But you have done well. We will now pause for reflection.”
If you you'd like to share your pet photos with me, I’d be happy to scan them for evidence of Cybercat influence. Here is my contact information.
And as always don't forget to check out my novels. There is a cat character in A Journal of the Crazy Year!
©2014 by Forrest Carr. All rights reserved.
at 1:20 PM