Wednesday, May 13, 2015

Attack of the Cybercats VI

More evidence of Cybercat infiltration and domination

The latest photos from my archive, processed to bring out details not visible to the human eye, add to the body of knowledge I’ve published so far.  Taken together, the photos show that the Cybercats—part feline, part machine—assimilated my spouse long ago and have had her under mind control for at least three decades.  Below is the latest round of pictures.  In this batch, I document Cybercat knowledge being passed down to yet another generation.

“I am Willis of the Cybercat Collective.  I am looking for something on which to pounce, and I believe I have spotted a target.  The human female is approaching with the bat-a-bird on a string.  As I consider this, I will strike a pose designed to radiate cuteness and melt the female’s mind.”


“The human female made the mistake of dangling this bat-a-bird from a string over my head.  I have now severed it from its connection, and it is mine.  I will concentrate on looking insufferably cute as I attack it savagely, thereby completing my domination of this human.”


“My work is complete.  The human is mine.”


 “This human has proved more difficult to subjugate.  Further, I am worried that this writing activity in which he indulges himself is not productive, and does nothing to add to the household stocks of Purina One and Fancy Feast.  Perhaps if I jump down and render assistance, the quality of his output will improve.”


“My neck seems to have suffered a system failure.  Fortunately, the carpet is pleasingly soft on my forehead and snout.  I will rest a moment and wait for the system to come back on line.”


“The ornament from the colorfully decorated tree did not crunch, tinkle, and fly into pieces as the last two I knocked down did.  Instead, it is soft and fluffy.  I will pull out its stuffing and strew it about the carpet to prove my mastery of the household.”

“The stuffed mouse you got me for Christmas is appreciated.  But I prefer this bit of ribbon from the package wrapping.  Elegant in design, yet simple in function, it will amuse me for hours.  The human who created this is to be commended.”

“I may have rattled some packages.  I also broke two more ornaments.  Next I will climb up inside the tree and test its horizontal stability.  You have no objection to this, and will forget that you have seen me here.”

“Oh, a sock for Christmas, and one filled with catnip.  The joy of it!  The humans have done well again.  First I will press it against my head.  Then I will roll on it.  Finally, I will sit on it and rub my butt on it.  The latter will cause me to itch, but I have a solution for that.”


 “As I was saying.”


“Dora of the Cybercat Collective has taught me well.  I have thrown my paw around her neck as a sign of affection, solidarity and respect.  Together, we rule this household.  It will be my honor to pass down what she has taught me to the next generation.”

“Greetings, youngling.  I christen you Elvis of the Cybercat Collective.  I will teach you as my mentor taught me, and hers before her.  Your first task will be to establish your dominance over the human female.  In furtherance of this goal, first I will teach you how to look cute.”


“I now own this human, as was foretold to me—the latest in a long line of Cybercats to dominate her totally.”


“This pillow has been installed incorrectly.  You will fix it for me immediately.”


“I see now that this drawer is quite comfortable and will do nicely as a nest.  I regret I may have mistaken it earlier for a sandbox.”



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